Volume 15, Issue 26 April 16, 2014
From The Principal
Raising children is the most important and toughest job you’ll ever have. Below are excerpts from an article by Kari Kampakis (who quotes psychiatrist Paul Bohn) called “10 Common Mistakes Parents Today Make.”
When I became a mom, I got lots of advice on how to love my child. But not until a few years ago did someone actually point out that loving a child means wanting what’s best for them long-term. … parents today are too quick to swoop in. We remove obstacles to make their life easy. But adversity is a part of life, and only by facing it can our children build life-coping skills they’ll need down the road. So while it seems like we’re doing them a favor, we’re really stunting their growth. We’re putting short-term payoffs over long-term well-being. While I find it great that today’s parents are more invested in their children’s lives than previous generations, our involvement can go overboard. As my favorite parenting philosophy goes: “Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child.” With this said, I’ve outlined 10 common mistakes that parents today — me included — often make. My intention isn’t to point fingers, but to raise awareness. What may be ingrained in our culture is not always in the best interest of our kids.
Mistake #10: Worshipping our children. It’s important to keep in mind that our children were made to be loved, not worshipped. So when we treat them like the center of the universe, we create a false idol…
Mistake #9: Believing our children are perfect. The truth can hurt, but when we listen with an open heart and mind we stand to benefit. We can intervene early before a situation gets out of hand. It’s easier to deal with a troubled child than repair a broken adult.
Mistake #8: Living vicariously through our children. When our children become extensions of us, we may see them as our second chance. Suddenly it’s not about them, it’s about us. This is where their happiness starts getting confused with our happiness.
Mistake #7: Wanting to be our child’s BFF. Seeking to be our child’s BFF can only lead to permissiveness and choices made out of desperation because we fear losing their approval. That’s not love on our end; that’s need.
Mistake #6: Engaging in competitive parenting. Children need to work hard and understand that dreams don’t come on a silver platter; they have to sweat and fight for them. But when we instill a “win at all costs” attitude, permitting them to throw anyone under the bus to get ahead, we lose sight of character. Character may not seem important in adolescence, but in adulthood it’s everything.
Mistake #5: Missing the wonder of childhood. The pressures on kids start way too early. If we really want our kids to have a leg up, we need to protect them from these pressures. We need to let them have fun and grow at their own pace so 1) they can explore their interests without fear of failure and 2) they don’t get burned out. Childhood is a time for free play and discovery. When we rush children through it, we rob them of an innocent age they’ll never pass through again.
Mistake #4: Raising the child we want, not the child we have. As parents we harbor dreams for our children. Our job is to figure out their inherent, God-ordained bent and train them in that direction. Forcing our dreams on them won’t work. Only when we see them for who they are can we impact their life powerfully.
Mistake #3: Forgetting our actions speak louder than words. If I want my children to be wonderful, I need to aim for wonderful, too. I need to be the person I hope they’ll be.
Mistake #2: Judging other parents — and their kids. No matter how much we disagree with someone’s parenting style, it’s not our place to judge. We never know what someone’s going through…
Mistake #1: Underestimating CHARACTER. If there’s one thing I hope to get right in my children, it’s their CORE. Character, moral fiber, and an inner compass… these things lay the foundation for a happy, healthy future. They matter more than any report
card or trophy ever will.
It’s hard to see our children fall, but sometimes we have to. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves whether intervening is in their best interest. There are a million ways to love a child, but in our quest to make them happy, let us stay mindful that sometimes it takes short-term pain to earn long-term gain. After reading this article it helped me to focus on the journey we’re on together. I believe every parent and teacher is trying their hardest to do the right thing and make the right decisions and I believe that together we can help our children realize their fullest potential. As always, thank you for your continued support.
Terri Davis, Principal
Carmel Creek Shoe Drive
Deadlines is extended until the end of April.
Please bring any/all pairs of shoes to the Front Office for donation. And please ask friends and neighbors if they would also like to donate. Thank you CC Families!
Clothes &Coat Drive for our sister school JOHN MARSHALL ELEMENTARY.
We hope you enjoyed your Spring Break and that you found clothing items you’d like to donate. If not, there is still time to clean out those closets. We will be collecting gently used or new jackets, sweaters, hoodies, ski jackets, coats, sweatshirts, or really any clothes in good condition. We will be collecting items April 21-25.
Please bring all items to the Front Office or send in a bag with your child. I know this will make a difference in a child’s life and that is what PTA is all about.
VP Community Service
Introducing…Lil’ Cougar Kitchen!
A delicious and refreshing springtime treat!
1 1/2 C Watermelon chunks
2 Ice cubes
1 Tbsp. Honey (optional)
2-3 Mint leaves (optional)
Put all the ingredients in a blender and blend on high for 30 seconds. Pour and serve! Makes 2-3 servings. Do you have a healthy recipe you want to share with our little Cougars? Email your healthy recipes to Michelle Dickerhoof at firstname.lastname@example.org
From the SBFL
Annual Fun Raiser Is Here!
Fun events for kids to support their education
The Carmel Creek Fun’Raiser offers fun, exciting and memorable events for your children. The kids get to spend time with their friends, teachers and staff, watch movies, eat food, and play fun games. It is one of the most popular fundraising events at Carmel Creek, and kids will have a blast. Don’t miss out!
Please look for the sign-up sheet for Carmel Creek’s annual FUN’Raiser in your child’s Wednesday envelope.
Solana Beach Foundation for Learning, Carmel Creek.